Oh, yeeeaaahhh!
by many form man
Summary: Bobobo and the group try to prove to Gasser that Santa exists, but, as usual, things don't go as planned. Rating for violence and excessive mild language, just to be safe
1. Chapter 1

**(A/N: This is to shut up everybody who says I can't criticize them because I have no stories. I don't care if it sucks, this proves I have stories. Let the music play!)  
**

**--**

It was snowing at the Bobobo house, and everybody was asleep, except for one restless boy adorned in a black shirt with skulls, a long-sleeve gray shirt underneath, and classic blue jeans. He was clearly emo.

"Not emo!!" the emo--

"My name is Gasser!!" 'Gasser' yelled in reply, somehow hearing the voice inside his head, but he stopped caring a few seconds later and continued looking out the window. He blew his gray-white bangs out of his scarlet eyes. He could not sleep, he didn't know why. Suddenly, a large orange ball with spikes came flying through the window, and right before it did, Gasser saw it and screamed, "HOW'D YOU GET OUT THERE?!" before the collision happened.

This strange entity was known as Don Patch, and he repeatedly jumped on top of Gasser, saying at a rapid-fire pace, "GassergassergassergassergassergassergasserGASSER!!"

Gasser, now very annoyed by Don Patch, threw him off and yelled in anger, "What?!"

Don Patch then got a newspaper from nowhere and replied, "Santa needs help! " as he pointed to a 'Help Wanted!' article for a mall Santa.

Gasser sighed and asked Don Patch, "You really don't know, do you?"

The clueless Don Patch looked at him confusedly and asked, "I don't even know what you're talking about half the time, emo boy."

Gasser, really annoyed at that insult, yelled, "I! Am! Not!! EMO!!" He then was able to calm down as he then replied, "No, I mean Santa doesn't exist."

Before either of them could do anything else, however, a postman walked up to the both of them and said, "Mail call," as he stuffed the mail in Don Patch's left eye.

Don Patch screamed in pain before pulling the mail out. The only mail was the exact same newspaper Don Patch just had, but with an update in the 'Help Wanted!' article. Don Patch read it excitedly and said to Gasser, again, at a rapid-fire pace, "Santafoundhelpsantafoundhelpsantafoundhelp!"

Gasser blinked a couple times and simply asked, "What?"

"Santafoundhelp!"

"Don Patch, enunciate!"

Don Patch then broke into tears and wailed, "I don't know what that means!" However, he immediately brightened up somehow and continued, "Oh, well, Santa found help!"

Gasser simply replied, now realizing the pop rock's previously incoherent speech, "Oh."

Don Patch asked Gasser excitedly, "Can we see him?!"

Gasser shrugged and replied, "Sure, why not? I have to go there tomorrow, anyway."

As Don Patch ran off, Gasser went into his bed and thought to himself, _Finally, I can sleep. Wait, why couldn't I sleep before? I hate plot devices..._

The next morning, Gasser woke up early and went down to meet Don Patch at the mall so they could see the nonexistent Santa. Oh, how little you know, emo boy.

"Hey!!"

However, when he got downstairs, his crush was already down there. He examined all of her body--perv-- her pink locks, passionate blue eyes, and her clothes. She had just gotten out of bed, the fact made obvious by her still being in her pink pajamas. She saw him and greeted, "Oh, good morning, Gas-can!"

At the sight of his crush, Gasser had a slight tinge of red on his face as he stammered in reply, "Uh, morning, Beauty. What are you doing up so early?"

She sighed happily and replied, "I was just too excited to get much sleep. Christmas is almost here. You?"

"Oh, I'm taking Don Patch to the mall to meet Santa."

"Where is he?"

"He left last night."

Beauty yelled, "He left that early?!"

Gasser chuckled weakly and said in reply, "Yeah, he couldn't wait."

Beauty smiled and asked nobody in particular, "Can't he ever be patient?"

They both laughed lightly before Gasser said, "I'd best go get him."

"Alright. See you later, Gas-can."

Gasser then left, and as he closed the door behind him, he smirked and said to himself, "This'll be interesting," as he had in his hands a large pillow, an even larger red coat, a red Santa cap, and a fake beard that almost looked real...

When Gasser had arrived at the mall, Don Patch was literally all over the place; there were eight of him! Gasser freaked out and screamed, "WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?!"

One of the orange spiked balls, whom had a flower on his head, walked up to the adolescent and asked, "What are you talking about?"

Gasser stared at the clone speechless, thinking Don Patch had played around with a cloning machine again, until the normal Don Patch appeared out of nowhere and violently ripped the flower out of the fellow Don Patch's cranium. The Don Patch that used to have a flower in his head screamed in agony before turning into dust.

Gasser then started shaking Don Patch and asked him, "What's with all of these yous?!"

Don Patch replied, "They're not Miis."

"They're yous!"

"No, they're cousins!"

"Cousins?"

"Yeah, I just killed Lawn Patch. He has a flower on his head. And this is--"

However, Gasser wasn't going to listen to this, knowing anything might happen, and he sneaked away into a changing room with all the things I said he had earlier and am too lazy to list right now.

A few minutes later, Santa Emo in a Santa costume walked out, and he sat in his Santa chair on his big Santa butt, then a Santa elf--

"Okay, what's with you adding the word Santa to every noun in that sentence?!" Santa Emo so rudely interrupted.

"Stop calling me that!" No. Anyway, Don Patch was standing impatiently near the back of the line, and he could not hold still.

Suddenly, though, he was dressed as a hobo and started crying, "I wanna see Santa! He'll give me presents and love! Nobody else loves me! I just want presents! I JUST WANT LOVE!!" Feeling sorry for him, everybody let him move to the front of the line, and Don Patch sat on "Santa's" lap.

He greeted the impostor, "Hi Santa!" followed immediately by a rapid-fire speech of gibberish, no actual word present in the blasphemy, madness, Sparta, etc. Yeah, I've done it all before.

Gasser blinked a couple times and asked, "Could you repeat that, little... whatever you are?" trying to keep his guise by purposely not recognizing Don Patch.

Don Patch noticed something however: He pointed out, "Santa, why is your beard tied to the back of your head?"

Gasser began to get nervous, and he stuttered, "Uh... you see--"

"And why is your fat so rectangular?"

"Um..." At this point, Gasser began to sweat bullets--

"Bullets?! Where?!" Don Patch screamed in fear before hiding behind the chair. However, he asked from his hiding spot, "Oh, and why do you look like an emo Santa?"

This ticked Gasser off, and he erupted, "I AM NOT EMO!!" as he threw Don Patch through the wall. By some inconceivable force--more like my hate towards him--Don Patch had created an explosion upon contact with the wall, blowing Gasser's disguise clean off.

Gasser looked slowly down in fear at his disguise being blown to bits, but whoopdy-freakin'-doo for him, I didn't make him naked. He silently said, "Thank you..." at this, but then immediately saw the angry mob in front of him, and he instantly changed his mind, declaring, "Ah, crap."

Many things could be heard among the crowd, such as small children crying, adults crying, gruesome noises indicating people committing suicide, and people saying things such as, "Where's Santa?!", "This guy tried to impersonate Santa!!", "My childhood was a lie!" and, "The mall lied to us all!"

All the onlookers formed an angry mob, complete with the cliché pitchforks and torches and went into a blind fury, charging recklessly at Gasser. Gasser gulped, as he could see the bloodlust in their eyes. However, it seemed that a savior came, as a voice triumphantly called out, "23!!"

The man suddenly in front of Gasser had an even more violent look in his eyes, along with bizarre hair shaped like the number 23, a green shirt with an orange stripe, and blue jeans.

It was 23 Guy!! He came equipped with a bazooka like those army action figures, and he fired at the mall-goers, killing them all in a single shot, and leaving nothing behind!

Gasser sighed and quietly said to himself, "Never thought I'd be glad to see him..."

However, Gasser quickly changed his mind when 23 Guy punched him in the gut, knocking the air out of him. 23 Guy then disappeared.

Don Patch, who just got out of the hole in the wall, asked Gasser, "Where'd Santa go?"

Gasser smacked his own forehead and replied, bluntly, "There is no Santa."

However, a young man who was overhearing the conversation, knew otherwise. He had blue hair and wore a red long-sleeve shirt underneath a gray vest, an orange scarf, and black jeans, On top of his head was a peculiar helmet everyone asked about. He hated it when people did and usually hanged them for it.

The teenager walked up to them, and Gasser noticed him first. He told him without emotion, "Hi, Crosk."

"Hi, emo boy," Crosk replied. "Anyway, what are you talking about? There is a Santa! We'll go to the North Pole to prove it!"

At the sound of this, Don Patch enthusiastically cheered, while Gasser asked, "Wouldn't we freeze before we get there?"

Wouldn't you? Um... I mean... at the airport...

The airport was nearly empty, because it was FREAKIN' CHRISTMAS EVE, YOU IDIOTS.

"Hey! If anyone here is the idiot, it's emo boy!"

"Don't drag me into this, Crosk!"

"I wanna fight, too!"

The three then started to fight, until Crosk Sparta kicked Gasser into the wall, and he walked up to the ticket counter. "Two tickets, please."

Gasser looked at Crosk confusedly and pointed out, "There are three of us."

"I'm not getting you one because I don't like you."

"What?!"

"Yep! You don't deserve one!" With that, Crosk gave Don Patch his ticket, and they both went to their flight.

Gasser mumbled and bought himself a ticket, but for some reason, they charged him twice as much. I don't like him, muahaha.

However, there was not enough room on the plane for all 3 of them, so one of them had to latch on to the bottom of the plane. Gasser immediately chose Crosk. Poor Crosk.

**--**

**(Bah, other chapters coming soon enough. I've already written them. This is the only time Beauty will appear, so savor it if you're an obsessive fan of hers. Crosk and 23 Guy are both OCs of mine.)  
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	2. Chapter 2

**(A/N: Yeah, here's Chapter 2. Let the music play!)  
**

**--**

Don Patch and Gasser were both waiting for their food, when the hot stewardess--bow chicka wow wow, chicka wow wow--walked up to them and gave them both their free peanuts. Gasser replied with a simple, "Thanks."

Don Patch, however, was less than pleased. He jumped out of his seat and yelled, "What's wrong with you?! By giving us these peanuts, you're making these peanuts miss out on an opportunity to become delicious peanut butter!"

The stewardess hesitantly replied, "Sorry...?" before giving the other passengers who I don't like and will not name their free food.

However, from inside his bag of peanuts, Gasser could hear crying and screaming, and sayings such as, "Why?!" and, "It isn't fair!" He opened his bag to reveal... his peanuts actually cared!

Gasser did his usual freak out face. He then remembered Crosk, looked out the window, and yelled out to him, "Are you okay?! Wait, why do I care?"

The plot device.

"Damn it!"

Crosk, however, was just fine, as he was playing upside-down poker-fish--I don't know what it is either, okay?--with a Wig Out bear, a can of Mountain Dew, and a grizzly bear. Gasser saw the unusual and unoriginal game I made up in ten seconds and freaked out asking, "What the heck are you playing?!"

Gasser's outburst angered the grizzly bear, and it used the Hookshot used by the Hero of Time to grab Gasser by the face and drag him out of his seat. Crosk then said, "Thank you!" to the bear as he climbed up into Gasser's seat.

However, Gasser wasn't ready to give up yet, as he climbed back up, and ended up in an empty third seat. Gasser looked at the empty seat, got in it, and pondered aloud... Wait, what does "pondered aloud" mean, anyway?

"Thought out loud," Gasser replied. Oh. Well then, anyway, Gasser 'pondered aloud,' "Who was sitting at this seat before?"

Meanwhile, Jelly Jiggler was kicked out of his seat because the pilot didn't like him for whatever reason, and he was forced to play poker-fish or else he wouldn't get the opportunity to buy a bag of peanuts for ¥500,000.

"What?" Jelly asked, before continuing, "How much money is that?" A lot. Jelly then burst into tears and declared to the heavens, "But, I don't have any money!" ...Baby. Oh, so you don't get peanuts. either.

Jelly sighed and drank the can of mountain dew, which made the grizzly bear sad and emo, and the Wig Out bear beat the crap out of the living blue blob.

The flight ended shortly after, and Gasser heard something beneath the plane. He looked underneath it and pulled something out from underneath the plane. "Jelly?! When'd you get down there?!"

Jelly then punched Gasser in the face, the punch hurting both of them because Jelly's hand was frozen from the cold climate/temperature/weather/whatever-else-you-want-to-call-it, and it shattered after the punch. He replied, "Ever since you took my seat, jerk wad?"

Gasser looked at the text and asked, "Wait, why is there a question mark there?" Because I can put one there. I'm the author. Let's just get back to the plot.

Crosk and Don Patch then got off, and Crosk was dressed as one of those dancers in tight spandex, and he declared, "Okay, everybody! Let's go find Mr. Hot-Santa-Man!"

Gasser covered his eyes and yelled, "That's something nobody should ever see!"

Crosk was now back to normal, normal for him at least, and he yelled, "OBJECTION!" as he slammed Gasser's face into the snow. He continued, "That is just your opinion!"

Jelly and Don both looked at the snow and ate some of it. Apparently, they loved it. They both then scooped some up in their hands and showed it to Gasser, saying, "You've gotta try this!"

"But I--"

"TRY IT!!" they interrupted, force-feeding it to him.

Gasser then spat up the snow before Crosk used his Fist of Hammerspace to make two snowmobiles appear out of nothing. They got onto the vehicles, two to one batmobi... I mean snowmobile, and they drove for minutes.

Eventually, the one Crosk and Gasser were on crashed into something, and the snowmobile blew up in a Mega Man-style boss explosion. The obstacle was revealed to be--

"Bobobo's here too?!" Gasser so rudely interrupted. But yes, it was Bobobo. The man with the golden afro and sunglasses. He was wearing his classic blue shirt and black pants.

Bobobo picked Crosk and Gasser up, as well as Don Patch and Jelly, putting them all in a death hug, and asked all of them, "What are you guys doing here?! I missed you!"

Somehow, they could speak perfectly, and Crosk replied while pointing to Gasser, "We're showing the emo--"

"Hey!"

"that Santa really exists."

Bobobo replied, "Oh! You guys are silly. You won't find him here!"

Don Patch had a look of peculiarity, and he asked, "Why, Bobobo? Is he delivering the presents?"

"No."

It was Jelly's turn to ask, and he asked, "Is he an agent for the FBI?"

"How idiotic can you guys be?! He's currently at war with China!"

Gasser, once hearing this, freaked out, "WHAT?!"

"Santa will explain it to you once we get there. Anyway, we have to go help him!"

Crosk cracked his fingers and replied, "Alright, let's go!"

Gasser interrupted him and asked, "Whoa whoa, how come you get so many lines?"

"I'm the author's original character, emo boy!"

"Damn!"

Anyway, Crosk used his Fist of Hammerspace to summon a teleporter from nothing and bring them all to China. However, the Santa they would find would be different from what all those who believe in Santa would expect...

"What will he be like?!" Don Patch, Jelly, and Bobobo all asked anxiously.

Shut up! You ruined the cliffhanger!

"Aw."

Anyway, a new cliffhanger, muahaha...!

Wait, chapter's not over, damn!

Anyway, as the group arrived via teleportation...

"What does via mean?" Jelly so rudely interrupted. But, he doesn't get to know what 'via' means because he's too poor and rude! Jelly then started sobbing uncontrollably: once again, he's a big baby. Now can I conti--

"What DOES it mean?" Don Patch rudely interrupted. Alright, do you guys really want to know what it means?!

Everybody nodded, except for Gasser, who hit his palm to his forehead and declared, "You guys are idiots."

This earned him a Falcon PAUNCH from Crosk.

It means 'by.' Happy? Now let me continue!

"Fine," Bobobo said. Finally! Anyways...

At China, the first thing they saw was Santa Claus. However, the media depicted him completely wrong.

Crosk was the one to start crying this time, and he yelled, "What does that sentence mean?!" Just look it up in a sentencictionary, whatever that is.

"Where do I find one?" ...I'm not even answering that.

Nonetheless, Santa was still completely different. He was a muscular man with black spiky hair, a black goatee, a yellow baseball cap turned backwards, and a set of headphones over the cap. He also wore a blue tank-top, dark green pants, and sandals. He also was no older than his mid-to-late 20s.

Gasser freaked out, "IS THAT SANTA CLAUS?!"

Patchi and Jiggler, meanwhile, immediately clung to him and yelled, "Santa!" in happiness.

Santa threw them off and at Chinese soldiers, making a few unfortunate soldiers die a slow, painful, poisonous death.

"HOW DO DON AND JELLY CAUSE **THAT**?!" Gasser freaked out. But, he didn't get to know the answer because he doesn't deserve to know it. "You son of a--" This is a children's fanfic!

Santa then called, "Oh, yeeeaaahhh!!" as he threw explosive barrels at the Chinese soldiers. He then saw the group and called out, "Bobobo! Finally, you're here! I could use some help!"

Bobobo replied, "Alright!" as he grabbed an explosive barrel and started throwing them, suddenly wearing a red tie that read 'DK.' 23 Guy was also throwing the barrels at the opposition... Wait, how'd he get there?

"23!!" he replied as he threw an explosive barrel at me-- oh crap! An explosion could be heard, and OW!! Geez, touchy! Oh, crud another one! OW!! Sorry.

"23,'" 23 Guy said forgivingly as he nodded his head approvingly. Phew.

Next, Crosk approached the supposed to be fat man in a red suit and asked him, "Santa, why are you at war with China? Did you bomb them?"

Santa defended himself, "Oh, noooooo! You see, the elves went on strike JUST because I didn't give them as good pay as Nintendo gives to their employees."

Gasser freaked out, "WHAT KIND OF REASON IS **THAT**?!"

"It's not my fault they just sit around, drinking booze! Anyway, all is good now, because I got enough presents for all of China!"

Suddenly, a loud cheer of some language that was definitely not Chinese could be heard, and it grabbed the attention of the group of six. They all looked over to the Chinese like they were freaks of nature.

However, only one person cheered that, and the rest of the Chinese killed him for it before cheering loudly in Chinese.

Santa let out a sigh of relief and said, "Oh, yeeeaaahhh!! Now that that's over with, I've got to get back to the South Pole!"

Santa then left, and Gasser blinked a couple of times and thought, _Wow, everybody was WAY off._

Bobobo then yelled, "Alright, let's go home!!" as he threw everybody back to the Bobobo house in Japan.

However, as they were flying off, Crosk yelled, "But I don't live with you guys...!!" before they all became a star in the sky. Bobobo then followed them with a flying bicycle, with 23 Guy dressed as an alien and in the basket. And for some strange reason, 'This is Halloween' could be heard playing...

**--  
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**(I have the last chapter, Chapter 3, written up. I'll upload whenever I feel like it. The Coca Cola Santa is a lie!)**


	3. Chapter 3

**(A/N: The last chapter. The finale. The conclusion. Okay, that's enough. Let the music play!)  
**

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...Except, for some odd reason, they didn't go home. Bobobo. Don Patch, Jelly, Gasser, Crosk, 23 Guy, Santa, and a Chinese soldier all appeared in nothing but whiteness. If you looked close enough for hours on end, you could see the secrets of the universe, like, "How many licks DOES it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?"

Gasser asked confusedly, "So, uh... where are we?" Well, I'm giving you all a special opportunity: get the last word in this fanfic, and you win the contest! Readysetgo!

Gasser was very confused by this, and he called out, "Wait, what?!"

Gasser is currently winning.

Crosk shoved Gasser to the ground with one hand and said to his loving audience, "There's no way emo boy will win!"

Crosk is currently winning.

23 Guy declared his catch phrase, "23!!" and punched Crosk in the face, KOing him instantly.

23 Guy is the winner so far.

Don Patch flashed an egotistical smile while pointing to himself and declared, "I'm gonna win, because I'm the main--"

However, Don Patch didn't get to finish, because 23 Guy yelled, "23!!" and shot him in the eye with a laser rifle. Ouch...

23 Guy is still winning.

"Oh, yeeeaaahhh!! I'm gonna win!" Santa Claus yelled as he engaged in an epic battle with 23 Guy, complete with epic Pirates of the Caribbean music.

While they were fighting, Jelly Jiggler crawled up to me, wherever I am, on his nonexistent knees, and pleaded, "Can I win? I really need the prize money."

Jelly's winning... but there is no prize money.

"What?!" Jelly cried before bawling like the big baby he is. Seriously, I cannot stress how much of a baby this guy is.

Bobobo then squished JJ's head and yelled, "I'm gonna win!"

Well, Bobobo's currently winning.

"Yes!" Bobobo cheered, suddenly in a cheerleading outfit, and then cheered, "Go me--" but was interrupted when he got caught in the battle between Santa Claus and 23 Guy.

**(Current Status:**

Gasser is watching the whole thing in confusion.

Crosk is knocked out on the floor

Don Patch is writhing in pain because he got **a laser shot through his eye.**

Jelly Jiggler is somehow sobbing, even with his head squished.

Bobobo, Santa, and 23 Guy are caught up in an epic battle with each other that will go down in history.

The Chinese soldier... well, you'll see him right now.)

The Chinese soldier yelled a battle cry in Chinese before charging at Gasser with a spear in hand.

Gasser asked, "What are you doing?!" while dodging to the best of his ability.

The soldier replied in Chinese, and it roughly translated to: "If you're dead, then you won't be a competitor for the last word."

Gasser continued to dodge, and eventually through events I can't be bothered to describe, all the remaining competitors were involved in one giant melee.

Not surprisingly, soon enough, everybody was knocked out, except for Bobobo, Santa Claus, and 23 Guy. They kept saying random things to keep in the lead, such as Bobobo asking 23 Guy why he could only say 23, 23 Guy replying to that, saying, "23!" and Santa Claus pondering aloud if he left the South Pole on.

Eventually, they all backed off of each other and started charging up their ultimate attacks.

At the same time, they all called out the names of their ultimate attacks...

"Nose Hair Alley!!"

"23!!"

"Christmas Power!!"

Bobobo fired his nose hairs, 23 Guy threw a satellite, and Santa shot a beam of red and green. They collided in the middle of the three, resulting in a large explosion that knocked them all out simultaneously/at the same time.

So, let me see... carry the 1... add the square root of pi... the winner is... me!

All the characters woke up instantly when they heard this, and yelled in surprise. Well, you see... I'm talking also, even if it's not in quotes, so HA!! I win! In all your faces!!

THE END

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**(I proofread this twice, so I doubt there are many errors, but if there are, feel free to point them out. I'll look over this to see all the references, and if you get a vast majority of them, good for you!)**


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